Crossing Fingers lyrics

It's late at night I let the phone ring and ring But no one picks up I try to pretend You must be asleep I try to convince myself But I know where you are And I know you're with him There ain't no secrecy I read all your diaries Well I know he's more than a friend Hey, lovin ain't lyin and lyin aint lovin You say "it's true, I swear to you" But you're crossin' fingers again It's later now I stare at the ceiling fan And I follow the blades And I wish you were dead It was a dream The two of you together But I'm not asleep There's a pain in my head I'm an unworthy student of philosophy But arguments won't change a thing A million proofs everyday There's no doubt that you should stay But you'll do what you're gonna do And I know that you'll go away Jealousy, it's what saved me From believing the lies, from doubting the truth Jealousy, it's what saved me From believing the lies