Infected lyrics

There's something inside of me, it tears it all apart. What I once was can never be, what you will be I'll never see. Can't find the strength to erase it as it crushes my will to live. Don't want you close enough to smell me, God I wish I had the courage to kill Always there to beat me down, to remind me of who I am. The one to hold me back, when I pretend I'm alive again. Don't wanna be the way I am I'd like to turn around and walk away. I wish I had the courage to kill, God I wish I had the courage to kill I wish I had the courage to kill No one can see me now, alone with my doubt and fear. I'm so tired of myself, so if you leave me can I come to? once I tried to listen, but I just could not understand. I'm a stranger to myself, so if you leave me can I come to? if you leave me can I come to? Am I someone special? Can I be replaced? I keep repeating myself, did I disappoint you? Did I always fail? I keep repeating myself There's something inside of me, it tears it all apart. What I once was can never be, what you will be I'll never see. Can't find the strength to erase it as it crushes my will to live. Don't want you close enough to smell me, God I wish I had the courage to kill Am I someone special? Can I be replaced? I keep repeating myself, did I disappoint you? Did I always fail? I keep repeating myself am I acting strange? or just like everyone else? I keep repeating myself. Can't someone help me? Can't you see I'm afraid, can't you see I'm afraid... [x2] I'm afraid [x2]