Don't Open That Mayonnaise lyrics

I bought this jar of condiments so long ago And now when I wanna use it, I really do not know Just when did I buy it? When was it made? A thought comes to me as I twist the lid: Don't open that mayonnaise Expiration reads this past May Don't open that mayonnaise You might not like what you'll find Inside Don't open that mayonnaise Expiration reads this past May Don't open that mayonnaise You might not like what you'll find Inside Made of dairy products oh so long ago Now induces stomach cramping and painful fecal flow Entering a realm of a pain I've never known Bowing to the god, the god of porcelain Don't open that mayonnaise Expiration reads this past May Don't open that mayonnaise You might not like what you'll find Inside