30 lyrics

Thirty I never thought I'd end up here Staring at these walls Feeling something I can't name Thirty The taste of this year So bittersweet With a hint of madness in it And I'm thirty, standing in the wreckage Of the boy I used to be Some dreams survived the damage Some just learned how to bleed If growing up means letting go Then tell me what I get to keep 'Cause I'm thirty, and I'm trying But I still miss twenty-three Thirty Candles burn like quiet threats I smile for photos I don't feel Everyone says I look stronger now But healing doesn't always look like peace Thirty I learned how to stay But not how to rest I learned how to love And how to expect less And I'm thirty, standing in the wreckage Of the boy I used to be Some dreams survived the damage Some just learned how to bleed If growing up means letting go Then tell me what I get to keep 'Cause I'm thirty, and I'm trying But I still miss twenty-three I thought I'd feel older I thought I'd feel sure But I just feel louder About what I won't ignore Thirty I toast to lessons I didn't ask for To names I don't say out loud Some nights I miss who I was before Before I knew how to break myself down Thirty They say time heals, yeah, maybe But it also leaves receipts And I've been paying interest On every promise you couldn't keep