Zombie Handjob lyrics

Folks, as you know Ninja Brian and I love to support up-and-coming artists Well, we've really found someone special And we're excited to present his debut song Please welcome Whackula, the masturbating vampire Thank you Danny Today I'm going to sing my new hit Halloween single Zombie Handjob, it's based on, shall we say, personal experience Wo-ho-ho-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Oh my God I was walking through the graveyard when I tripped and fell And I heard some rumblings from the depths of hell A hand shot up through the stones and the sticks But it wasn't looking for brains, it was looking for dicks It was a zombie handjob A decomposing hand stroking my wood It was a zombie handjob (it was a zombie handjob) And it felt scary good I heard some chains go clink and clank As I lay there enjoying my eerie wank I was now surrounded by a spooky throng Of the stroking undead that were thirsty for schlong It was a zombie handjob The spirits rubbed out a gruesome wad It was a zombie handjob (it was a zombie handjob) And they were pumpkin my rod Oh, looks like it's time for me to play my organ solo And also this instrument Oh, yes Mm, oh that's nice, blblblblb I gave thanks to the ghouls for their impressive dexterity As I watched them shuffle off in my post-nut clarity 'Twas a sight most bizarre, most unearthly, most sick The parade of the damned that had drained my whole dick Oh look, the Moon's coming out Speaking of coming It was a zombie handjob (it was a zombie handjob) A weiner massage that had me moaning with fear, oh It was a zombie handjob (it was a zombie handjob) And I, Count Whackula, will see you next year Fappy Halloween Wo-ho-ho-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Jesus Christ