Sad Cat Lady lyrics

Mrs. Mary Winston Jones could not have any children When her hubby's seed swam in, the Lord above just killed 'em (awww!) Sad though it was, there's a silver lining They bought two little kitties at the pound The tabbies started humpin' and it led to quite a somethin' Now a blissful family unit is found there The house is all a-bustle with feline fur and muscle And the Jones's hearts have truly learned to sing The only problem now is their just not knowing how To keep those kitty titties in a sling Slipping on some poop in the bathroom hallway Limited to sleeping on the porch (get out!) Neighbors throwing bottles at their heads on Fridays Maybe they should kill 'em (yeah!) They shoulda had some children Try some IVF or vitamins Or yoga or a colon cleanse (what?) The Jones's just aren't making friends Those kitties are the bloody end If they hadn't named 'em, it'd be swell To flush 'em down the drinking well Their life's become a living hell But they're so cute, all of 'em Abner, Ajax, Alfie, Alan, Alvin, Andy, Angus Anton, Archie, Arlo, Arnie, Artie, Aspen, Atlas Banjo, Banshee, Barney, Bartok, Batman, Beaver, Benji Benson, Bernie, Bilbo, Bogart, Bongo, Boofy, Boombox, Bowtie, Braveheart Bronson, Brubeck, Bumhead, Butler, Cabbage, Carlos, Casper, Cado, Chadwick Chandler, Chauncey, Chester, Chicken, Comet, Cooper, Cornbread, Cricket, Crunchy, Curly, Curtis Dallas, Derby, Dasher, Dereck, Dewey, Disco, Dogboy, Dozer, Dreckley Elwood, Fatty, Fearless, Fergus, Finley, Flapjack, Fonzi, Francis, Fresco, Frostbite, Fuskis Gary, Gavin, Geezer, Gipper, Gizmo, Gobble, Grimble Guido, Gumby, Gustav, Haddock, Harold, Harvey, Hedwig, Herby Hobbes and Hopscotch, Ian, Igor, Ivan, Jasper, Jelly, Jesus! Jimbo, Jojo, Jordatch, Jumpy, Kirby, Larry, Lennox, Lewis, Liam, Linus, Magnus Mandrake, Marvin, Maynard, Mickey, Monkey, Moses, Mustache, Nobby, Nomad Norman, Novak, Nugget, Outlaw, Pablo, Papa, Pedro, Peppers, Pippin, Playboy, Quimby Raffles, Rampage, Reggie, Ringo, Rolex, Sanchez, Sandstorm, Scooby, Skillet, Slapshot Socko, Sooty, Sultan, Swayze, Taboo, Tarzan, Tio, Toaster, Tofu, Toothless, Vespa Victor, Webster, Whamo, Woody, Wrangler, Yoda Ziggy! Mrs. Mary Winston Jones could not have any children When her hubby's seed swam in, the Lord above just killed 'em