Текст песни If a Girl Isn't Pretty

If a girl isn't pretty Like a miss atlantic city, All she gets in life Is pity and a pat. Is a nose with deviation Such a crime against the nation? Should i throw her into jail Or drown the cat? Mrs. strakosh, o' malley and She must shine in ev'ry detail Like a ring you're buying retail, Be a standard size that Fits a standard dress. When a girl's incidentals Are no bigger than two lentils Mrs. strakosh, o' malley and Then to me that doesn't spell success. Fanny auditions for keeney's music hall but keeney kicks her out of the chorus Because she doesn't look like the others. Eddie ryan, dance director for keeney, agrees: If a girl isn't pretty Like a miss atlantic city, She should dump the stage And try another route. Any guy who pays a quarter For a seat just feels he oughter See a figger that his wife can't Substitute. Kid, my heart ain't made of marble But your rhythm's really horr'ble And that map of yours just ain't no Valentine. Everything you got's about right, But the damn thing don't come out right So forget it, kid, And just resign. If a girl isn't pretty, If a girl isn't pretty, If a girl isn't pretty, If a girl isn't pretty, If a girl isn't pretty, She should get a job, Go get a job-- Get any job Get a weekly pay, 'cause if a girl isn't pretty Like a miss atlantic city, She's a real miss nobody, u.s.a.