Don't Let The Bellhops Bite lyrics

There's a cozy little place tucked away Between the third and fourth circle of hell Where you can take a break (makes a great vacation) Maybe take in just a little damnation as well, so ring the bell We're excited to welcome you in No time here to dwell on your sins Your itinerary's fairly heavily perilous, but let me share the various Amenities you're getting within If you've got luggage The staff can take it through But the baggage that's emotional, well, that can stay with you You've clearly packed a bag with plans to stay a day or two But it's pretty optimistic if you think you won't be strewn Across the floor, twisted and deformed Little bits of blood and gore Chewed and spit out of the maw Of a vicious set of jaws in a spiffy uniform All your sins have a cost But your death is complimentary, of course It's just monkey business, but with one key difference That the one reliving it is beyond deliverance We've got one piece hidden in deep amongst these remnants Of our one-time residents in our Little hotel in hell where the bellhops bite We're afraid to say that the pool is closed Since the lifeguard started to decompose Down here, things lurk deep below So stay clear if you want to keep your toes Breakfast is served till ten But no one ever wakes up to attend 'Cause if you lay your head on a bed, you'll be too dead for eggs And you'll never eat bacon again Our gymnasium's stocked with the best utensils Though you ought to be running without the treadmill The bar's a haunt, with all the spirits you want They were all our last guests to get killed We've so many amenities, no chance of boredom We both know you've already seen the ballroom A little reminder: You've a riddle to find Or it is frivolous fighting your doom It's just monkey business, but with one key difference That the one reliving it is beyond deliverance We've got one piece hidden in deep amongst these remnants Of our one-time residents in our Little hotel in hell where the bellhops bite Think twice before you use that phone by the bed Room service will cost you an arm and a leg And a torso, a stomach, a neck and a head The menu's sparse, but the staff's well-fed We'll provide a device that might help you find The shards you've been tasked with and hide from the nightmares But if you try to check the TripAdvisor, you'll likely trip and die, sir Five stars, never a survivor We're not winding you up, we're not letting you go Fish the mint from the blood pooling in the pillows Checkout is at one, not that you'll need to know Pay your tab at the front desk or death will be slow We strongly urge that you defer your day's ablutions The concierge will start the purge before you're through them Whilst on your journey on the way to retribution We hope that you enjoy your stay of execution It's just monkey business, but with one key difference That the one reliving it is beyond deliverance We've got one piece hidden in deep amongst these remnants Of our one-time residents in our Little hotel in hell where the bellhops bite