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a flash on the nightsky, against ceaseless rainfall. a flicker on the wall, amidst dancing shadows. spinning round in circles, yet routed on the spot. lying still on the floor, whirling about inside. this is not what I had wanted, I have to leave this place. this is not what I had dreamed of, I need to gain more space. this is not what I intended, I have to leave these shores. this is not what I had hoped for, I need to close these doors. I should get on an airplane. I should leave this state of mind. I should use the passing lane. I should leave this life behind. I will catch the morning breeze. I will jump into the sea. I will follow my caprice. I will finally be me. this is not what I had wanted, I have to leave this place. this is not what I had dreamed of, I need to gain more space. this is not what I had wanted, I have to leave this place. this is not what I had dreamed of, I need to gain more space. this is not what I intended, I have to leave these shores. this is not what I had hoped for, I need to close these doors. so many directions, I feel so pulled apart. so many distractions, I feel them split my heart. so many directions, I feel so pulled apart. so many distractions, I feel them split my heart. so many directions, I feel so pulled apart. so many distractions, I feel them split my heart.