Why Am I Not Better 歌词

How long will this crying alone in my room be artsy? Because eventually, I'll drown in my tears And my friends will get tired of the same words spoken by my lying tongue And I'll be left behind How long until all of this gets old, and I'm actually ready to die And not just saying it to waste the time Why am I not better yet? It's been so many years, so many tears And I'm forgetting how to sleep And I'm forgetting how to eat Don't post positive quotes That doesn't help me I'm severely ill and you're not helping My mind is twisted and you're not helping My body is bleeding and you're not helping Because this illness isn't cute It's not for writing beautiful poetry It's not for singing pretty chords It's not for you to be there for me It's not for me to be understood This isn't helping None of this is helping None of this is helping Why am I not better yet? It's been so many years, so many tears And I'm forgetting how to sleep And I'm forgetting how to eat Why am I not better yet? Why am I not better yet? Because the clock is ticking fast, and I know that I'll be gone soon But it's hard to look forward to tomorrow when all of the days are the same Maybe if I take cold showers, it'll help my brain If I go on walks, meditate, I should feel relief But nothing helps I'll wake up, a world of gray, lost, ambitionless Empty, wandering, hopeless Another day, losing sleep, losing focus Losing friends, is this the end? Why am I not better yet?