Everything Happens for a Reason lyrics

I know everything happens for a reason But what the fuck is happening? I used to love the autumn season And all the leaves falling and flying I put on my headphones And shuffle through all my songs 'Cause I feel nothing in my bones I skip another meal today Just to feel better with my weigh But I can't never make 'em stay Another day with this numbness Another day feeling hopeless I don't know how much strength I have left I'm tired of being so fucking soft Just keep my head down Looking at the flooded ground Can someone teach me how to be strong? Last week I relapsed Everyone thinks that I'm a mess But I don't know how to process me (I don't know how to process me) I don't know what is the reason But why everything happens in that season?