Original lyrics

EN

I think I'll always be like the ugly duckling But unlike in the fairy tale I won't turn into a beautiful swan At least I'm trying But trying is different from achieving I was considered a weird kid Now I'm a young girl at ground zero I lost faith in my childhood dreams In my own conflicts, I gotta be my own hero Cause no one's gonna save you That's a painful truth Just as much as lies hurt too I'd rather lock the windows I don't want them to see that what shows through in me is my sorrow I suffer from what happens today and what may happen tomorrow To this day I can't gaze at people laughing or gazing at me Without thinking they're judging me I don't give a damn if I die I'm too old to die young I'm sick of crying so much Should I listen to my heart or my brain? Either way I'm waiting for the break from the pain When shit happens The only solution in my head Is death I wanna smile Without crying inside I often feel the bitter taste of my voice Making no noise As I scream in this silence I'm living in a Picasso's Blue Period hologram My final takeaway is that I'm the real problem My mind holds an entire world But it often wears me down Nobody's really concerned And I'm already underground That's why I was just diagnosed Don't you notice? That I'm wandering around Not cause I'm in the wrong place I feel homeless Don't you notice? That I'm wandering around Not cause I'm in the wrong place I feel homeless To this day I can't gaze at people laughing or gazing at me Without thinking they're judging me I don't give a damn if I die I'm too old to die young I couldn't say a word Even though I rehearsed my defense To this day, I still feel they hate my presence That everyone prefers my absence Maybe I deserve punishment It feels like my life's hope was flung Mom and dad, I'm too old to die young