Before I Slip lyrics

The room keeps your shape In the dust and the dark I still reach for your voice Like a hand in the black The walls know my name now But they don't say it back I move through the hours Like a fault line under glass Your old laugh in the hallway Still cuts through the hush I drink from the absence And it never fills up Crowds pass like weather Faces blur in the rain I'm surrounded by motion Still marooned in my brain And I tried to outgrow it Tried to wear it thin But the night keeps your outline In the sink of my ribs I don't sleep, I just spiral Round the same hard bend Every thought is a doorframe That won't let me in I need something to hold onto Before I slip away 'Cause ever since you left me I don't feel like home If you carried half my heartbeat Where did the other go? I'm still reaching for the part of me You used to know I found your old message Under miles of new noise It was just small and ordinary But it split me wide open, boy Now every joke feels older Every room feels rented I wear my own skin loosely Like a sentence unfinished Maybe I made you holy Maybe I needed proof That somebody could stay When the floor gave through Now I rehearse your silence Like a prayer gone wrong And the ache keeps getting clearer The more I stay up long I don't want replacing I want the missing piece I want the ache to mean something More than hunger and grief If I call out your shadow Will it answer me? Or am I just another voice In the dead machinery? I need something to hold onto Before I slip away Everybody sees me breathing Nobody knows I'm broke If you knew me better than I did Who am I now you're gone? I'm still reaching for the part of me You used to know Maybe love was never simple Maybe I was made to lean Maybe losing you just showed me How little I'd learned to breathe I kept my whole soul on your shoulder Called it faith, called it grace Now I'm staring at my own hands Like they belong to a stranger's face If this is what the dark is Then I've lived here too long Even my regrets are quiet But they're never gone I need something to hold onto Before I slip away Everybody says I'm healing Why do I feel so gone? If you were the best part of me How do I move on? I'm still reaching for the part of me You used to know The morning makes no promise It just stains the glass And I stand in the doorway Letting your shadow pass