Let The Light In lyrics

Hey girl Do you really love me? Is this really what you want? Are you willing to fight for us? I learned how to disappear Without ever leaving the room Everybody says Tell me what's wrong But they only mean it Until I do I keep a crowded phone Just to avoid my reflection Trade silence for noise Like it's some holy protection Every night I build cities Out of temporary highs Neon saints on the dashboard Praying over alibis I know every escape route From the moment I arrive How to laugh at the right time How to look alive But underneath the costume There's a boy made of fractures Still collecting abandoned versions Of himself in the rafters And they ask why I vanish When somebody gets close It's hard to be loved When you're convinced you're a ghost So I leave before the leaving Break the bridge before it burns Call it freedom when it's fear Call it wisdom when it hurts Every hand that tries to reach me Feels like standing in a flood 'Cause what if they see the damage And decide I'm not enough? I'm trying To let the light in Through every crack I made I know I built the walls But I'm tired Of being the one who always leaves So stay Just stay Even when I make it hard to stay I'm not asking you to fix me Just don't let me disappear 'Cause I'm trying To let the light in I can fill a whole room And still feel missing inside it Smile for the photograph Then spend all night trying to hide it Everybody loves the outline The silhouette, the shape Nobody wants the thunder Behind the painted face Sometimes I think I'm addicted To almost being understood Close enough to feel the warmth Far enough to leave for good I wear charm like armor Humor like camouflage Making beauty from wreckage Just to survive the odds And every time someone says You're safe with me My chest becomes a crime scene Full of old debris So I turn tenderness to distance Turn honesty to static Make every good thing temporary Every future automatic And I hate myself for knowing Exactly what I do How I keep building exits Inside every room I'm trying To let the light in Through every crack I made I know I built the walls But I'm tired Of being the one who always leaves So stay Just stay Even when I make it hard to stay I'm not asking you to fix me Just don't let me disappear 'Cause I'm trying To let the light in Maybe the truth is I don't fear rejection I fear recognition Because rejection says You weren't enough Recognition says I see everything And if someone sees everything The shame The envy The loneliness The hunger The nights I confused destruction For identity The ways I learned to survive That became the ways I disappear Then I'd lose my final excuse For staying broken And maybe that's the part I've never wanted to admit If healing means becoming someone new Who am I Without my wounds? I'm trying To let the light in Through every crack I made I know I built the walls But I'm tired Of being the one who always leaves So stay Just stay Even when I make it hard to stay I'm not asking you to fix me Just don't let me disappear 'Cause I'm trying To let the light in The room is getting quiet No distractions left to blame Just my reflection Sitting in the dark Wearing my name And somewhere beyond the noise Someone is probably waiting For the version of me That doesn't know how to stay But wants to More than anything