Where You Go lyrics

I keep a map of your silences Folded in my chest Like a note I never sent You came in half-lit Always one foot out the door I gave you my whole sky You gave me weather on the floor I read your pauses like scripture Every miss like a sign I was building a home Where you kept closing the blinds You said you cared But your hands never stayed Like rain on glass Or a train that misbehaved I kept my heart open You kept yours on lock And I wore every little absence Like a stone in my pocket I try to breathe you in But you slip through my fingers I reach for the truth And it vanishes quicker If love is a room Why do I feel alone? Why do I feel alone? You leave me drowning I can't even surface You leave me drowning And I still think you're worth it My chest is on fire My ribs feel the pressure I love you too loud You love me too lesser You leave me drowning (Drowning) You leave me drowning I can't come up Some nights you were sunlight Some nights you were a wall One text like a prayer Then nothing after all I kept running in circles In a field of your maybe My feet wore the ground thin My mind got shaky I learned your distance Like a scar learns skin How you could be near me And still not let me in I kept saying tomorrow Like tomorrow had hands But it just kept turning to dust Every time I asked You'd look at me softly Like you meant to stay Then the room went cold And you drifted away I try to breathe you in But you fade when I touch you I reach for the truth And it cuts right through me If love is a room Why do I feel erased? Why do I feel erased? You leave me drowning I can't even surface You leave me drowning And I still think you're worth it My chest is on fire My bones feel the tremor I love you too deep You love me in pieces You leave me drowning (Drowning) You leave me drowning I can't come up I saw the fault line early Still I stepped on it Hoping your silence Would finally soften But hope is a habit That bleeds when it's fed I kept holding your ghost Like a hand in my head If I let go now Will I lose myself too? Or was I already gone The day I loved you? There's a crack in the ceiling There's a crack in my voice There's a crack in the mirror And I made the choice You leave me drowning I'm coughing up fire You leave me drowning Till my lungs get tired My heart's a bruised drum Beating under pressure I love like a flood You love like a measure You leave me drowning (Drowning, drowning) You leave me drowning And I can't come up No, I can't come up I can't come up I keep a map of your silences Still folded in my chest And every time I touch it It feels like Going under